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I have finally evacuated Alberta for the sanctuary of VanIsle. 7 weeks in ole AB. was enough. I made teh decision a week prior and was feeling immense guilt up until I left as dad was deteriorating badly everyday. I had put life on hold long enough and there was nthing left for me to do there. I wanted to be there for mom but she stated that again theres nothiing I could do. Being in Fort Mac made me realize why I came to the island in the first place. Flying over the rockies and the ocean made some weight ease from my shoulders. I really do love it here and I am so lcuky to be able to call it my home.

I didnt have but half a day to sort myself out before i had to get back to work. While at work I had a hard time focusing and figuring out what I should be doing. 7 weeks off will do that i guess! I finally found my groove by Thursday I think. Still a lil cloudy but I will get there.

Watching my dad dying has made me realize that I shouldnt be afraid to do the things I have alwasy wanted to do. Things like racing, traveling, maybe school. Have always been scared of failure and have found that ive wasted a lot of good years listening to people tell me I shouldnt instead of doing and figuring for myself! So it ends, no more of that thought process. I have an amazing girl at my side and she will support me ( I hope) in any endeavour I choose, win or lose, do or dont, even try and fail. I know after seeing her with my family that she is very special and am very excited to begin our life on the island together!! She is gonna love trianing in NO SNOW!! And also deciding that work isnt really worth being stressed about. My aunt sadi to think of a hula hoop. A fake area around you and if it isnt that area then dont fucking worry about it. So I will try and heade those words!! I am very ahppy with were my life is going and yet very guilty that I am enjoyig while dad goes through so much pain. I shouldnt haveleft him but there was nothing left for me there. BLAHBLAHBLAH!! enough whining, time to see the dentist!!! Like I dont have enough stress!!

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