Sept 6/09 As I sit in the Calgary t int. airport I am troubled with thoughts of my upcoming few weeks. Going to see my father and brother in the H ha same time, filled with fear and anxiety. I have been in such great spirits lately, life moving forward in mostly a positive form, someone that I care for deeply, and whom I hope feels similar, riding tones and surrounding myself with people that are of the same attitude. Even work is good right now. So why……. With this latest development that brings me home it’s very hard to not start to take these things personally. I know that is a dumb statement and fairly immature, but just as things start to look up and start to become happy some unknown force just tries to thumb me down! Yes I am too sensitive and yes I am pretty hard on myself but yrs and yrs of it is starting to make me wonder. Even going as far to think I’m cursed because of an incident that happened Friday that actually I was not involved with or had any hand in ...
It is now January 2010 and the grey skies seem to be getting to me a lil bit! Mical and I had an awesome Xmas and New Year. The first of many to come just like that I hope! Lotsa riding, lotsa food and a few to many treats!! Hung out in Seattle for a day which was so nice, till my camera decided to have a shit....so we bought a new one! LOL! Lot of really neat spots there and I can't wait to go back when we can spend a lil more time together and the new camera will be joining us too!! Its now the 5th and she has gone to FMM to work to pay for the summer ahead. I think its a great opportunity for experience and she only has to work till the thaw, few months. And its a plus that she can go xc skiing there on time off. I miss her a ton and having an empty house again has made my mind become a lil more active and my body not! Thinking about dad, worrying about mom and Aaron as well as career confusion. No inspiration to ride or shoot. A skunky lil funk that will not last long, or I ...
Coming off a great day with my baby I am left very reflective and very hungry!! Thinking about last weekend as its pain is still very fresh in my head. We flew back to FMM for a celeb ration of life for Dad put on by the School board. I must be honest in saying I was less then thrilled about this ceremony but mom booked us tickets then told me so I couldnt really avoid it. The turn out was nice, people that I really didn't expect to see even showed up. Gil Espejo put together a great lil slide show of photos my family put together complete with music. Francois set up a web cam at Aarons hospital so he could watch via Skype and people could talk to him as well. The topper was the Lefevbre and Diakow families dressed up in the Bill Pringle tuxedo!! I got stressed about nothing as it was very nice lil ceremony. The next day we took dads ashes to the cemetery to place him in his final resting place. A perfect -28 for the day. A lil prayer and words and mom placed him in as I comforte...
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